I feel compelled of the Lord to write to you this morning to encourage your heart that the Lord has not left you for His promises are yea and amen. One of His greatest promises to you is that He will never ever, no, not ever leave you or forsake you. Heb. 13:5. He IS with us always; even in our point of despair.
Let me share with you that my husband and I were in the midst of a very turbulent time in our marriage. The traumatic experience triggered my PTSD (post-traumatic stress disorder) and I went in to full blown anxiety and chemical depression.
Chemically in my body, I began to slide emotionally. I struggled to keep myself together and continue to function in life and my piano teaching job, but life within me began to shut down in an attempt for self-preservation. My anxieties grew to the point of being overwhelmed and life seemed like one big tidal wave slamming into my heart and emotions. I wanted a place to escape, but could find none. Fear gave way to panic. Thoughts of suicide caused me to panic even more. I knew that as a Christian, suicide was wrong and would send me to hell. Yet, I felt increasingly unable to control my emotions let alone my actions.
It was at this point that I became so despondent, I didn't even know in my heart if God still loved me, because I'd bottomed out into such a deep pit...the deep pit of miry clay and despair. I despaired of my life; no longer able to see beyond my overwhelming pain. I felt so alone. No one to really admit how I was feeling. Oh yes, I called a couple very close friends to ask for prayer, but I never admitted how close to the edge I was....yet, they had figured it out anyhow.
(How I thank God for praying friends who will pray without being asked!!!)
I had driven to a small park down by the river wondering what it would be like to throw myself into the swirling rapids and drown.....Sitting there, I cried out to God, "PLEASE let me know that YOU LOVE ME! It was within seconds of ending this prayer that a friend called me who lived 800 miles away. My heart rejoiced! The Lord answered by having Becky call me. A glimmer of hope. Thank You, Jesus for Your swift answer. (He says to call to Him and He WILL answer. Jer. 33:3)
From there I attended our church's prayer service. Kneeling and sobbing before the Lord, He said in His still small voice, "Crista, I shall keep you covered under the shadow of my wing and care for you as a mother hen cares for her chicks." I continued to sob and sob from my great pain, but I knew God was in the midst of my storm. Just as Jesus said when He looked out over Jerusalem, He was now comforting me with His promise from Ps. 91 that I was under the shadow of His wing.
Why would I, a Spirit-filled believer in Jesus Christ, admit to such a thing? Because sometimes we experience emotional pain to such a severity that we hardly dare to admit to ourself let alone someone else....Because sometimes our bodies take us into an emotional emergency due to chemical imbalances. And like a heart attack or diabetic coma, we need emergent treatment. (I'm not talking about a bad case of the blues, I am talking about full blown clinical depression out of which a person cannot bring themselves out.
Medical intervention for psychiatric problems does not connote faithlessness.
I believe quite the opposite is true. It takes "Jesus Help!" faith to cry out to Him for help and then to do as He directs. And for me, it was to a psychiatric hospital where I could get physical and emotional help in my time of need. The pain of depression was as if I'd entered an excruciating cocoon. Hurting and feeling so alone.
I thank God I had the presence of mind to schedule an appointment with a therapist. My husband and I were also meeting with our pastor, but with my body's chemistry now altered, I needed medical intervention.
At my first appointment, my therapist recommended that I enter an out-patient partial hospitalization program at the psychiatric hospital. I packed my bag and moved in with friends for a week while I attended the hospital program.
It was there that I came face to face with the diagnosis I'd heard before:
MDD....Major Depressive Disorder with anxiety. This was my third hospitalization since 1990. This type of depression has a genetic component, and I knew enough about my family history to know that my German birth mother and two sisters had suffered from depression and emotional issues. Medication has now become a part of my life, just as my blood pressure and cholesterol medications. I thank God for the medication He's provided to keep me in chemical balance. I thank God for psychiatric care workers. I thank God for my husband and praying friends who saw what I couldn't at the time. It's been five months now since my hospitalization and I can truly say that I now feel well! Hallelujah!
In closing, this is God's promise to us that "He who dwells in the secret place shall abide under the shadow of the Almighty." Ps. 91:1 And in Ps. 91:4 "He shall cover you with His feathers, and under His wings you shall take refuge."
Ps. 18:6 "In my distress I called upon the Lord, and cried out to my God. He heard my voice from His temple, and my cry came before Him, even to His ears."
Deut. 33:26-27 "There is no one like the God of Jeshurun, who rides the heavens to help you. The eternal God is your refuge, and underneath are the everlasting arms. He will thrust out the enemy from before you, and will say, 'Destroy!' "
Know this, that no matter how deep your pit, Jesus is deeper still for nothing, absolutely nothing can separate us from His love.
Be encouraged this day that no matter how much your storm is raging right now, that He is with you and will deliver you for He is no respector of persons. What He did for me, He will do for you. And by all means, if you need professional help, seek it.
"Lord, please encourage the ones who find themselves in a raging storm. Reach down from heaven to touch them, for your arm is not too short that it cannot save. Lord, fulfill your promise that underneath are your everlasting arms and you cover these hurting ones with your feathers; for You will care for them as a mother hen cares for her chicks." Thank You, Jesus. Amen and amen."
Ever yours in His love and mine,
Crista
CMSimmons52@aol.com
Showing posts with label God's Love. Show all posts
Showing posts with label God's Love. Show all posts
Tuesday, November 13, 2012
Monday, March 7, 2011
I Have Inscribed You on the Palms of My Hands
This is for those of us who sometimes wonder where God is when it hurts~ Life hurts - whether it be in body, mind, emotions or spirit….There are those time in life when the storms “overtake” our ability to see beyond them…because all we see is the blackness of the boiling sea below and the pitch of clouds above.
We look out onto the horizon….straining to see a glimpse of land ahead…but we can’t even see land let alone concoct a glimmer of sunlight along our path…Weariness overtakes us…
A couple months ago, I decided it was time to deal with pain management for my arthritis…I simply could not take it anymore. Chronic pain was sucking the life out of me by day and by night…It was becoming increasingly difficult to maintain patience for simple bumps in the road…I sought help from my doctor for the pain and depression.
“Are you suicidal?”, she inquired….
“Oh no….I still enjoy getting together with friends…”
But after my appointment, I began to reflect…suicidal?….No….Wanting God to take me Home and say that I had completed what He’d called me to do…Yes. I just wanted to be out of the constant grind of pain. I was exhausted; wanting to be out of pain; wanting to have a "good" night's sleep.
Exhaustion…Yesterday writing to my dear friend, Clo. “Please pray for me…..” Her words…God’s words of comfort in return…bolstering my spirit - just to know she was there and praying - taking the burden off my shoulders. (Yes, my hubby is a support - for those of you who might wonder…but sometimes, it’s too close…and he needs his own support person….and this is why friends are so vital.)
Personal struggles make it difficult to “find” God in the darkness as we grope our way along…as a blind man reaching out to touch the next stable point in life…the next step….tentative…and then at times, stopping altogether…resting…catching our breath…or just plain too weary….
Where’s God?….”Lord, I enjoyed your presence so much in the land of plenty…but in the desert, I’m not sure anymore where You are?…Have I disappointed you in my weariness of body and You have given up on me and walked away?…Did my pain give way to You turning Your back on me in my time of need, because I did not meet Your expectations?”
And it is in these types of times that I find myself wrestling with God….like this morning….I had read something yesterday that someone else wrote about the Lord’s Presence being so close…and agony hit…”Lord, we enjoyed such communion…but it is as if I can’t find You right now….”
Yesterday at the nursing home, sharing a testimony of my friend, Becky…recovering from shoulder surgery…How the Lord’s Presence enveloped her - encouraging her heart - for one reason only - His loving kindness, compassion and mercy.
Then the Lord gave me an image of a mother sitting on the side of her young child’s bed - feverish - delirious at times - a cool cloth on her head - bending over her child - stroking her face - praying - loving - touching…never letting go….sitting through the night watch…at times taking her unconscious child from the bed to cradle her in her arms…rocking…singing…praying…stroking back sweat soaked hair…Her child at times seeing her only through fluttering eyelids…then drifting off into feverish sleep…until her child finally awakens…eyes wide open…”Hi Mommy…Can I have something to eat?…I’m hungry.”
Her child has “come back”…
“Mommy?…”
“Yes, my love…“
“I didn’t know where you were…I was so afraid…I couldn’t find you…”
“My darling child…I know. You were so sick…but I was right here all the time…Holding you, loving you. You are my precious one…”
And that’s how it is at times in life, isn’t it? Sometimes we are that little child…and sometimes, He gives us the privilege of sitting beside someone else’s bed to get them through the night…to be Jesus to them in the darkness of soul….
This morning…watching the little finches outside our living room window…reflecting…turning on the music I so enjoy during my times of reading scripture or writing…soft and soothing…comforting…non-invasive…
“Lord, where it is so easy for me to encourage others…please encourage my own heart…It’s been so long since I have really “felt” You close….We enjoyed such communion in the land of plenty…Reveal Yourself to my heart in the desert…”
And I had no more finished this prayer, than He broke into my thoughts…”Can a nursing mother forget her baby at her breast? Though she may forget, I will never forget you, for I have inscribed you on the palms of my hands…”
Isaiah 49:13-16 says it this way….”…For the Lord has comforted His people, and will have mercy on His afflicted. But Zion said, ‘The Lord has forsaken me, and my Lord has forgotten me.’ ‘Can a woman forget her nursing child and not have compassion on the son of her womb? Surely they may forget, yet I will not forget you. See, I have inscribed you on the palms of My hands; your walls are continually before Me.”
In closing, I pray your heart be encouraged this day…If you are the child in this image…He is with you….
And if you are being used as a “mother” to someone else right now…praise God…Continue to be there in the night watch…God is using you to encourage the heart of another weary traveler until “the fever breaks”.
(P.S. If you suffer from chronic pain and have not yet done so, I encourage you to seek assistance from your physician. It may take some trial and error as you work together to find the combination that is right for your body, mind, emotions, and also approved by your insurance company. Eat heathly...and tell someone you trust what you're going through....We all need someone to hold up our arms when we get weary.)
God bless you all~
Ever in His love and mine,
Crista
CMSimmons52@aol.com http://dinnerwiththeking.blogspot.com
Sunday, February 6, 2011
His Everlasting Arms in the Nothingness~
When I was in nurse’s training (a very long time ago….), we had an instructor who had served in the military. Miss Mary Mason. And every time we needed to clear the hall for an oncoming patient, she’d sharply call out, “Flatten agin the wall. Flatten agin the wall!” Simply stated, “Make way! Clear the way! Don’t be in the way!”
In reflecting this morning, that’s how we feel sometimes in life….like we’re the ones who’ve been flattened…run over…and left for dead in whatever it is that mowed us over…and we don’t feel like we’ve got the energy or “want to“, to lift our head, let alone get up and try it again. We are down for the count, and we see no way out…every direction looks impossible.
May I share with you an experience and then some scripture? You know, maybe you’re not that person…but you know someone who is….Whoever it is needs Hope that only the Lord can provide.
The reason I want to share a personal experience is because it is easy to look at the writer and think, “What do you know? You’ve never been in my situation.”
One of my primary purposes in this blog is to be transparent in my writing…and in so doing…that the Glory of God would be evident….And I pray the love of Jesus and His Hope to transform your heart and mind this day.
It was the summer of 1990, and I was inpatient at the Minirth-Meier Psych. Unit in Naperville, IL…It was a locked unit…One evening, something happened that I cannot explain…but another resident had shared something…and it was as if my emotions stepped onto an elevator and I went to the bottom floor…As I did, everything else began to fade…I could not distinguish anything that was more than about 2 feet in front of my face…My nurse led me into the padded room…I think I was sobbing…into a blackness that had no end…a black hole…no end in sight…just the overwhelming sense of loss in my life that would not go away…the losses that I’d been running from my whole life…I looked up once..and could only make out the feet of our unit director, Dr. Verle Bell, and our head nurse…They spoke…I couldn’t comprehend what they said…At some point, my nurse led me back to my room…I can only tell you that if I were to put an age to my feelings, I’d would’ve been 2 or under…no words…My nurse tucked me into bed and kissed me on the forehead.
Morning came…the black hole was still there…There seemed no way out…and I wasn’t sure anymore if I wanted to try…
They say, “When you’re at the end of your rope, tie a knot and hang on.”….Well, I couldn’t find the rope; much less tie a knot in it; much less have the strength to hang on….I had let go and was free-falling into nowhere…
What I didn’t know at the time is that nowhere has a bottom…and it is called His Everlasting Arms and that Hope Has a Name - Jesus Christ….He didn’t come to me to scold me and ask, “Where’s your faith?”….No, He came to me and held out His hand…”Crista, take My hand…and I will lead you out….”
Now, I’m here to tell you that that’s faith…Just taking His hand IS faith! He says to us today, “I AM the Way, the Truth and the Life.” (John 14:6)…When we don’t know the way out of the black pit, He does.
For there is no God like Jehovah. “For when we are faithless, He is faithful, for He cannot deny Himself.” (2 Tim. 2:13)
And underneath are the everlasting arms~ “There is none like God, O Jeshurun [Israel], Who rides through the heavens to your help and in His majestic glory through the skies. The eternal God is your refuge and dwelling place, and underneath are the everlasting arms; He drove the enemy before you and thrust them out, saying, Destroy!”
Maybe you’re too worn out to take His hand…then just know, that He’s kneeling down to take yours…
His love is from everlasting to everlasting….and nothing shall separate you from His love….He is not a man that He should lie, and He is no respecter of persons.
Let’s close with these words from the Lord through the Apostle Paul: “Who shall ever separate us from Christ’s love?…”…”For I am persuaded beyond doubt (am sure) that neither death nor life, nor angels nor principalities, nor things impending and threatening nor things to come, nor powers, nor height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation will be able to separate us from the love of God which is in Christ Jesus our Lord.” (Romans 8:35, 37-38)
“Lord Jesus…today, I will let you take my hand…because I can’t do this by myself. I don’t know my way out of this blackness…But I will let You lead me, because You’re the Only One Who knows the way out.
Thank You.”
And in the words of our unit director, Dr. Bell….”I can’t. He can. Therefore, I move my pieces.”
“…but with God all things are possible.” Matthew 19:26
“…to give them beauty for the ashes…” Isaiah 61:3
….To make the Valley of Achor (Trouble) a door of Hope…. Hosea 2:15
Hope has a Name, and His Name is Jesus Christ…and underneath are His everlasting arms.~
God bless you, dear hearts.
Ever yours in Christ,
Crista (CMSimmons52@aol.com)
http://dinnerwiththeking.blogspot.comSaturday, January 8, 2011
Of Gnats and Camels or His Love?
Happy New Year and snowy greetings from our corner of the world in Michigan! We received a lovely, blanketing of Lake Michigan precipitation over the past two days....known as "lake effect snow" ~Well, Christmas break is over and I'm "back in the saddle" again....teaching piano and desiring to write more.
For those of you who'd like to keep in touch via Facebook, I now have a Dinner with the King FB page. Just look it up and send me a Friend Request.
During this break, it has given me time to ponder and seek the Lord about some issues...one of which seems to be the "heated" discussions that often happen between Christians regarding interpretation of scripture, various prophecies...who said what...what they meant....Letting the hairs on the back of our neck rise over this issue or that issue...and then taking the sword - either directly or indirectly to wound another member of The Body of Christ. It happens locally...it happens globally.
As I've come before Him to sit...and be quiet...and inquire....He helped me to understand even more the essence of His love...and that being the foundation of His commandments....to love the Lord, Our God, with all our heart, mind, soul and body and to love our neighbor as our self...for the law has been fulfilled in Christ and we have only one law now to fulfill and that is the law of Love. (James 2:8)
It was during this time of "pondering" that the words of the Apostle Paul resounded deep within....and I could hear him saying, "When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child; now that I have become a man, I am done with childish ways and have put them aside." (1 Cor. 13:11)....and then I heard him write: "And if I have prophetic powers (the gift of interpreting the divine will and purpose), and understand all secret truths and mysteries and possess all knowledge, and if I have [sufficient] faith so that I can remove mountains, but have not love (God's love in me) I am nothing (a useless nobody)." (1 Cor. 13:2)
It's as if I hear the Apostle Paul saying, (my interpretation): "You know, there was a time that I had to be right...at the expense of the other person...but even though I knew I was right...that was not the core issue. The core issue was how I loved that person. I'm getting older, and I realize that being right isn't as important as loving...for that is the more excellent way...not on my insistence that I'm right. I'm older, and my body is wearing out. I don't have the energy I once had. Now I want to use my energy to do what is important before the Lord...and that is to love others....and I encourage you all to do the same. Don't sweat the small stuff....Let it go and let God."
And to emphasize His point, the Holy Spirit brought up the following scripture - repeatedly, from Matthew 23:24 "You blind guides, filtering out a gnat and gulping down a camel!" And isn't that what can so easily happen? We get so caught up in what so and so said, or this thing or that thing, that we forget that we are called to love each other.
I'm getting older...and feeling it....arthritis pain is my constant companion...
Pain does things to us that other things don't...It causes us to evaluate what is important in life and what isn't...It causes us prioritize and "downsize" the unnecessary issues of life....It causes us to think "How do I want to be remembered when I am gone?"...."What will be the most important when I'm standing face to face with the Lord, Himself on Judgment Day?" Next to my salvation in Christ...what is truly THE MOST important issue? Will it be that I was right about the interpretation of a certain scripture or issue....
or will it be that insofar as it was possible, I sought to live in peace with all men...that I sought to minister unto the least of these...Will men see my good works before them so that they would thank the Lord - even when they don't understand yet Who He is?
Please understand that I am not advocating checking our brains at the curb and promoting sin. God forbid! But there is a way to deal with issues that leave a person's heart intact. For it is a kind word of honey that will be received more than one of pure vinegar.
Many years ago, a Sister in the Lord sent me what she believed to be the word of the Lord to me. It came at a time when we were going through much personal grief in the death of a dear family member. I was crushed deeply and could not understand why the Lord would send me such a hurtful word. What the Lord helped me to understand is that a bruised reed, He will not break; whose word do I value more?...His or man's?...and He says in Psalm 138:8 "The Lord will perfect that which concerns me."
I have often said that persecution comes more from within the church than from without...because so often, those who are doing the persecuting think that they are doing the Lord a service to speak harshly against another Brother or Sister. But we know this should not be so.~ (1 John 2)
The Apostle Paul wrote in 2 Tim. 2:24-25 "And the servant of the Lord must not be quarrelsome (fighting and contending). Instead, he must be kindly to everyone and mild-tempered [preserving the bond of peace]; he must be a skilled and suitable teacher, patient and forbearing and willing to suffer wrong. He must correct his opponents with courtesy and gentleness, in the hope that God may grant that they will repent and come to know the Truth [that they will perceive and recognize and become accurately acquainted with and acknowledge it]."
My dear Brothers and Sisters in Christ....may we all determine in our hearts to allow His love to live and reign in our hearts this year in greater measure.
When there is an "issue"...take it to Him....and leave it with Him knowing that in quietness and confidence, He is our strength. (Isaiah 30:15) We will never agree in all matters with all the Brethren...that is just life...and that is just people.
But when we are in Christ, Beloved let us love one another, for love covers a multitude of sins; that we may have boldness in the day of judgment...
In closing...
"If someone says, 'I love God,' and hates (detests, abominates) his brother [in Christ], he is a liar; for he who does not love his brother whom he has seen, how can he love God whom he has not seen? And this commandment (charge, injunction) we have from Him; that he who loves God must love his brother [believer] also." (1 John 4:20-21)
Ephesians 1:10 (Amplified) "[He planned] for the maturity of the times and the climax of the ages to unify all things and head them up and comsummate them in Christ, [both] things in heaven and things on the earth." v. 12 "So that we who first hoped in Christ [who put our confidence in Him have been destined and appointed to] live for the praise of His glory!"
Much love always, in Christ,
Crista
http://dinnerwiththeking.blogspot.com
For those of you who'd like to keep in touch via Facebook, I now have a Dinner with the King FB page. Just look it up and send me a Friend Request.
During this break, it has given me time to ponder and seek the Lord about some issues...one of which seems to be the "heated" discussions that often happen between Christians regarding interpretation of scripture, various prophecies...who said what...what they meant....Letting the hairs on the back of our neck rise over this issue or that issue...and then taking the sword - either directly or indirectly to wound another member of The Body of Christ. It happens locally...it happens globally.
As I've come before Him to sit...and be quiet...and inquire....He helped me to understand even more the essence of His love...and that being the foundation of His commandments....to love the Lord, Our God, with all our heart, mind, soul and body and to love our neighbor as our self...for the law has been fulfilled in Christ and we have only one law now to fulfill and that is the law of Love. (James 2:8)
It was during this time of "pondering" that the words of the Apostle Paul resounded deep within....and I could hear him saying, "When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child; now that I have become a man, I am done with childish ways and have put them aside." (1 Cor. 13:11)....and then I heard him write: "And if I have prophetic powers (the gift of interpreting the divine will and purpose), and understand all secret truths and mysteries and possess all knowledge, and if I have [sufficient] faith so that I can remove mountains, but have not love (God's love in me) I am nothing (a useless nobody)." (1 Cor. 13:2)
It's as if I hear the Apostle Paul saying, (my interpretation): "You know, there was a time that I had to be right...at the expense of the other person...but even though I knew I was right...that was not the core issue. The core issue was how I loved that person. I'm getting older, and I realize that being right isn't as important as loving...for that is the more excellent way...not on my insistence that I'm right. I'm older, and my body is wearing out. I don't have the energy I once had. Now I want to use my energy to do what is important before the Lord...and that is to love others....and I encourage you all to do the same. Don't sweat the small stuff....Let it go and let God."
And to emphasize His point, the Holy Spirit brought up the following scripture - repeatedly, from Matthew 23:24 "You blind guides, filtering out a gnat and gulping down a camel!" And isn't that what can so easily happen? We get so caught up in what so and so said, or this thing or that thing, that we forget that we are called to love each other.
I'm getting older...and feeling it....arthritis pain is my constant companion...
Pain does things to us that other things don't...It causes us to evaluate what is important in life and what isn't...It causes us prioritize and "downsize" the unnecessary issues of life....It causes us to think "How do I want to be remembered when I am gone?"...."What will be the most important when I'm standing face to face with the Lord, Himself on Judgment Day?" Next to my salvation in Christ...what is truly THE MOST important issue? Will it be that I was right about the interpretation of a certain scripture or issue....
or will it be that insofar as it was possible, I sought to live in peace with all men...that I sought to minister unto the least of these...Will men see my good works before them so that they would thank the Lord - even when they don't understand yet Who He is?
Please understand that I am not advocating checking our brains at the curb and promoting sin. God forbid! But there is a way to deal with issues that leave a person's heart intact. For it is a kind word of honey that will be received more than one of pure vinegar.
Many years ago, a Sister in the Lord sent me what she believed to be the word of the Lord to me. It came at a time when we were going through much personal grief in the death of a dear family member. I was crushed deeply and could not understand why the Lord would send me such a hurtful word. What the Lord helped me to understand is that a bruised reed, He will not break; whose word do I value more?...His or man's?...and He says in Psalm 138:8 "The Lord will perfect that which concerns me."
I have often said that persecution comes more from within the church than from without...because so often, those who are doing the persecuting think that they are doing the Lord a service to speak harshly against another Brother or Sister. But we know this should not be so.~ (1 John 2)
The Apostle Paul wrote in 2 Tim. 2:24-25 "And the servant of the Lord must not be quarrelsome (fighting and contending). Instead, he must be kindly to everyone and mild-tempered [preserving the bond of peace]; he must be a skilled and suitable teacher, patient and forbearing and willing to suffer wrong. He must correct his opponents with courtesy and gentleness, in the hope that God may grant that they will repent and come to know the Truth [that they will perceive and recognize and become accurately acquainted with and acknowledge it]."
My dear Brothers and Sisters in Christ....may we all determine in our hearts to allow His love to live and reign in our hearts this year in greater measure.
When there is an "issue"...take it to Him....and leave it with Him knowing that in quietness and confidence, He is our strength. (Isaiah 30:15) We will never agree in all matters with all the Brethren...that is just life...and that is just people.
But when we are in Christ, Beloved let us love one another, for love covers a multitude of sins; that we may have boldness in the day of judgment...
In closing...
"If someone says, 'I love God,' and hates (detests, abominates) his brother [in Christ], he is a liar; for he who does not love his brother whom he has seen, how can he love God whom he has not seen? And this commandment (charge, injunction) we have from Him; that he who loves God must love his brother [believer] also." (1 John 4:20-21)
Ephesians 1:10 (Amplified) "[He planned] for the maturity of the times and the climax of the ages to unify all things and head them up and comsummate them in Christ, [both] things in heaven and things on the earth." v. 12 "So that we who first hoped in Christ [who put our confidence in Him have been destined and appointed to] live for the praise of His glory!"
Much love always, in Christ,
Crista
http://dinnerwiththeking.blogspot.com
Wednesday, October 20, 2010
Sticks and Stones....And God's Loving Faithfulness to Heal
Today's post is extra long...You may want to copy & paste...or just sit with your cup of coffee...because this has to do with something we all face from time to time...The agony of words or actions of someone else which has caused us great pain....for ultimately we have to decide what we will do with it...As Christians, we are to be obedient to God's Word to bless our enemies and to forgive our debtors as we ask Him to forgive us. And by the power of His Blood, we do this in faith and obedience to His Word and out of our love for Him. Yet there are those times that we feel so shattered, that there seems to be no way to heal from it all. We're left reeling and feel like an egg which someone threw against the wall...just a blob at the bottom....Let me encourage you, that His healing is available and He will console those of us who mourn from the pain, and give us His beauty for ashes, the oil of joy for mourning and the garment of praise for the spirit of heaviness (Is. 61:3)...for He knows our frame and that He made us from dust. (Ps. 103:14)...For we do not have a High Priest who cannot sympathize with our weaknesses, but was in all points tempted as we are, yet without sin. Let us therefore come boldly to the throne of grace, that we may obtain mercy and find grace to help in time of need. (Heb. 4:15-16) These ARE His promises and He is not a man that He should lie.
I have been seeking the Lord earnestly for the past month about these heart hurdles that just were not healing within...and wrote in my journal yesterday morning: "The greatest battles in life come not from without, but from within. My greatest battles are personal. they come from the self-doubt and anxiety over personal issues. They are those experiences that feel like rusty nails driven into my heart...grinding, twisting themselves into gnawing, festering sores that just don't go away. My issue is that I accept them as the truth about who I am; allowing the words and behavior of others to define who I am before God and myself....ultimately, I allow the enemy full reign in defining who I am, rather than trusting and believing who I am in Christ.
And then a few hours later, my niece had posted the following on Facebook: "Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words....well, words will hurt me deeply, causing great emotional, mental, and psychological damage leading to a lowered self-esteem and a severe decrease in overall efficiency."....Proverbs 12:18 says it this way: "There is one who speaks like the piercing of a sword, but the tongue of the wise promotes health."....And I am going to say that it is not only words, but actions...or lack thereof...which also cause a piercing of the heart....We're left with a pile of ashes...dust caked in our mouth...and emotional blood spurting out of every orifice.
I tried as best I could to cope...telling myself that I was OK...continuing to push; much like the Little Engine that Could..."I think I can. I think I can. I think I can."....Until just this past week, the Lord revealed to me the house of cards that I'd constructed to keep myself going...how I'd really turned away from Him...and He lovingly and gently blew my "house down"...whoosh....
For unless the Lord builds the house, they labor in vain who build it. (Ps. 127:1)...and I was laboring in vain. I had discussed it in confidence with a couple friends...but my agony continued.
I had resorted to familiar coping mechanisms which were "comfortable" in time of anguish of soul.
It's easier now to look at this and to understand how I got so far down this road. It's easier now to identify the lies of the enemy, but at the time, the blur seemed to be the reality....For in my heart of hearts, which God just revealed to me a couple of days ago, I had thought that God had passed me by and that I just wasn't good enough for Him....WHAM! Satan whispered in my ear. "See, you're not even good enough for God....".....The piercings from this situation led to my internalizing that even God had rejected me, and that I'd never be emotionally healed enough to minister to others. I had unconsciously determined that God Himself wanted to hurt me and I pulled away from Him - which is a natural, neurological response to pain, but it was not the truth of Who He Is and what was happening.
It is not unusual for traumatic events in the present to still crash headlong into events which happened in our past...thus "Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder" (PTSD)....It's easier now, today, to identify the lies of the enemy, but at the time, the blur seemed to be the reality. It is much like mixing paint in a gallon sized can...At first we are able to recognize two separate colors, but the more the paint is stirred and mixed, the less we can differentiate the two...until finally, the two become one. This is the desired result for a can of paint, but not for us!....It occurs when our trauma triggers a neurological response for our body, mind and emotions to come back into balance after it receives the "tilt" signal...and it is an unconscious response to regain a sense of safety and balance, and we do that by reverting to our old ways of coping. The problem is that these "coping" mechanisms oftentimes keep us in bondage and vulnerable to the lies of the enemy, and then they become strongholds in our life.
Many years ago while still in counseling and the Lord revealing deep wounds from my past and then healing them, He helped me to understand that the emotional wounding of our past is in many ways like having been in a severe car accident. We go to the hospital for repair to the body for the damage done to it. The major, visible repairs are done. But it is not uncommon for particles of glass to come to the surface after being embedded for many years due their depth, location and size. Some of the remnants just had to "work themselves out"....And this is what happens over time in our emotional recovery from the past...bit by bit the Lord reveals and heals. So it is that at times...past and present smoosh into one. And even when the don't, current events can just leave us tottering at best to hang onto some semblance of emotional stability.
But as we return to the Lord in faith, He will reveal the pain and strongholds within our hearts which hold us captive - to be set free...for he whom the Son sets free is free indeed. His Word says that we shall know the Truth and the Truth (Jesus) shall set us free; for Jesus is the way, THE TRUTH, and the life. For it is only when we allow the Holy Spirit to help us face the truth about what is really in our heart, and the pigpen of the enemy's lies and where we've been feasting...are we then able to come out and come back to the Father; allowing His Love to heal us and make us whole. (Luke 15:16-24) In essence, we return to feast at His table; to dine and sup with Him (Rev. 3:20), instead of returning as a dog returns to its own vomit. (Prov. 26:11)
For it is Satan's goal to have us doubt God and to turn from Him. The enemy comes to pound us deeper into despair with lies from the pit of hell..."You know, you're never going to be able to minister...You're a loser...You know the scriptures, but you're not applying them...God doesn't love you...He loves (-----) more than you, because see what they're doing and you're not? They are a better Christian than you...In fact, you're so stupid, you're believing my lies about you."...We could go on and on with the fears and doubts that Satan hurls at us to stop us at the door of His greatest plans for us....And I truly believe this is why....Satan knows the Lord's plans to defeat him through us! So, when he comes against us...he's actually showing us God's plans for our life...plans for good and not for evil - plans to give us a future and a hope....plans to defeat the enemy who fights against the Kingdom of God.
We are able to walk with Jesus...on His path of righteousness...on His path of emotional well-being...toward the brighter tomorrow that He has for us. (Ps. 23:3b, Jer. 29:11-14) He will bring to light that which is in darkness to lift us out of the miry clay, because he who promised is faithful and true. A bruised reed He will not break. His mercies are new every morning. His compassions, they fail not. And there is therefore no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus. (Rom. 8:1) We are more than conquerors through Christ and nothing can separate us from the love of God which is in Christ Jesus. God is love and there is no fear in love....for if God be for us, who can be against us. (These are all scriptures that I trust you are able to find...if not, please contact me.)
Let me share a personal experience with you from my piano studio....As a piano instructor, it is my responsibility to lovingly correct and disciple my students....There is a great vulnerability in playing piano...What will others think of me?...What does my teacher think about me?...What do I think about me?...I don't play as good as so and so....And one little girl sadly lamented about two years ago, "I'm not very good."....By the way, you should hear her now!
What do they really want? Loving acceptance...even when they need correction...They want to hear "Well done! Bravo!...just like we want to hear "Well done good and faithful servant", when we go Home. We want to know from our Heavenly Father, that no matter what, He loves us and we are special in His sight...and that He's there for us...even when we stumble and fall.....So, I decided to "take a break" from teaching so to speak...to just sit back and listen. I've asked my students to play their favorite piece of the week for me...and then I've said, "You know, I so enjoyed listening to you play this piece. Would you please play it for me once more...just so I can enjoy hearing you play it again...because you did such an outstanding job!"....Their faces beam with pride.
So come with me now, to the place where we hear Jesus speak lovingly and tenderly to our hearts with all compassion, mercy, long-suffering and gentleness of heart...."My precious little lamb, I've been looking for you...for you were lost for a little while in your wanderings. But know this for sure, I have not passed you by. I have wonderful things in store for you that you cannot see at this moment. I am calling you back to My heart...I know you've been deeply wounded. But I want you to know that everything you experience on this earth, I've felt and experienced, too. They pierced my head with thorns; they spit on Me; they ripped My beard off My face; they left Me in the Garden of Gethsemane alone to pray while they slept and I asked them to watch with me for only an hour. Was that too much to ask? They called me crazy and said I had a demon; My own fleshly family was ashamed of Me; they gave me a kiss and sent Me to My death...I understand. In this, I was wounded for your healing. I understand. My child, I love you with an everlasting love. I have never left you nor forsaken you; even in your darkest hour. I am by your side always; more than you realize. I promised to never leave you as an orphan, but to comfort you in your affliction and deliver you. Come to Me, My child, with your heart's heavy burden and I will give you rest for you soul." (Matt. 11:28-30)
In closing, may I pray with you as we come before Him together...."Oh Lord, I am so very sorry that I turned from You all this time during my pain and anguish. Forgive me, Lord, for how I ultimately blamed Your for my hurt. Forgive me for how I turned my back on You. Lord, by Your Blood, by faith, I forgive those who have hurt me, and I ask You to bless them, Lord. Help me, Lord. I can't get over this heart hurdle by myself, but You can get me there. I lay my heart at the foot of Your Cross for Your healing. I am willing to give You my bitterness and my pain. I ask You to reveal and heal those areas of my heart that await Your healing as only You can do. I look to You, Jesus, the Glory and Lifter of my head...My Redeemer...My Friend...the Lover of my soul. And Lord, I thank You that You will bring Your Glory to this situation. Amen."
~Back with Him....He will do the rest....
Tenderly and lovingly yours,
Crista
CMSimmons52@aol.com
http://dinnerwiththeking.blogspot.com/
I have been seeking the Lord earnestly for the past month about these heart hurdles that just were not healing within...and wrote in my journal yesterday morning: "The greatest battles in life come not from without, but from within. My greatest battles are personal. they come from the self-doubt and anxiety over personal issues. They are those experiences that feel like rusty nails driven into my heart...grinding, twisting themselves into gnawing, festering sores that just don't go away. My issue is that I accept them as the truth about who I am; allowing the words and behavior of others to define who I am before God and myself....ultimately, I allow the enemy full reign in defining who I am, rather than trusting and believing who I am in Christ.
And then a few hours later, my niece had posted the following on Facebook: "Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words....well, words will hurt me deeply, causing great emotional, mental, and psychological damage leading to a lowered self-esteem and a severe decrease in overall efficiency."....Proverbs 12:18 says it this way: "There is one who speaks like the piercing of a sword, but the tongue of the wise promotes health."....And I am going to say that it is not only words, but actions...or lack thereof...which also cause a piercing of the heart....We're left with a pile of ashes...dust caked in our mouth...and emotional blood spurting out of every orifice.
I tried as best I could to cope...telling myself that I was OK...continuing to push; much like the Little Engine that Could..."I think I can. I think I can. I think I can."....Until just this past week, the Lord revealed to me the house of cards that I'd constructed to keep myself going...how I'd really turned away from Him...and He lovingly and gently blew my "house down"...whoosh....
For unless the Lord builds the house, they labor in vain who build it. (Ps. 127:1)...and I was laboring in vain. I had discussed it in confidence with a couple friends...but my agony continued.
I had resorted to familiar coping mechanisms which were "comfortable" in time of anguish of soul.
It's easier now to look at this and to understand how I got so far down this road. It's easier now to identify the lies of the enemy, but at the time, the blur seemed to be the reality....For in my heart of hearts, which God just revealed to me a couple of days ago, I had thought that God had passed me by and that I just wasn't good enough for Him....WHAM! Satan whispered in my ear. "See, you're not even good enough for God....".....The piercings from this situation led to my internalizing that even God had rejected me, and that I'd never be emotionally healed enough to minister to others. I had unconsciously determined that God Himself wanted to hurt me and I pulled away from Him - which is a natural, neurological response to pain, but it was not the truth of Who He Is and what was happening.
It is not unusual for traumatic events in the present to still crash headlong into events which happened in our past...thus "Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder" (PTSD)....It's easier now, today, to identify the lies of the enemy, but at the time, the blur seemed to be the reality. It is much like mixing paint in a gallon sized can...At first we are able to recognize two separate colors, but the more the paint is stirred and mixed, the less we can differentiate the two...until finally, the two become one. This is the desired result for a can of paint, but not for us!....It occurs when our trauma triggers a neurological response for our body, mind and emotions to come back into balance after it receives the "tilt" signal...and it is an unconscious response to regain a sense of safety and balance, and we do that by reverting to our old ways of coping. The problem is that these "coping" mechanisms oftentimes keep us in bondage and vulnerable to the lies of the enemy, and then they become strongholds in our life.
Many years ago while still in counseling and the Lord revealing deep wounds from my past and then healing them, He helped me to understand that the emotional wounding of our past is in many ways like having been in a severe car accident. We go to the hospital for repair to the body for the damage done to it. The major, visible repairs are done. But it is not uncommon for particles of glass to come to the surface after being embedded for many years due their depth, location and size. Some of the remnants just had to "work themselves out"....And this is what happens over time in our emotional recovery from the past...bit by bit the Lord reveals and heals. So it is that at times...past and present smoosh into one. And even when the don't, current events can just leave us tottering at best to hang onto some semblance of emotional stability.
But as we return to the Lord in faith, He will reveal the pain and strongholds within our hearts which hold us captive - to be set free...for he whom the Son sets free is free indeed. His Word says that we shall know the Truth and the Truth (Jesus) shall set us free; for Jesus is the way, THE TRUTH, and the life. For it is only when we allow the Holy Spirit to help us face the truth about what is really in our heart, and the pigpen of the enemy's lies and where we've been feasting...are we then able to come out and come back to the Father; allowing His Love to heal us and make us whole. (Luke 15:16-24) In essence, we return to feast at His table; to dine and sup with Him (Rev. 3:20), instead of returning as a dog returns to its own vomit. (Prov. 26:11)
For it is Satan's goal to have us doubt God and to turn from Him. The enemy comes to pound us deeper into despair with lies from the pit of hell..."You know, you're never going to be able to minister...You're a loser...You know the scriptures, but you're not applying them...God doesn't love you...He loves (-----) more than you, because see what they're doing and you're not? They are a better Christian than you...In fact, you're so stupid, you're believing my lies about you."...We could go on and on with the fears and doubts that Satan hurls at us to stop us at the door of His greatest plans for us....And I truly believe this is why....Satan knows the Lord's plans to defeat him through us! So, when he comes against us...he's actually showing us God's plans for our life...plans for good and not for evil - plans to give us a future and a hope....plans to defeat the enemy who fights against the Kingdom of God.
We are able to walk with Jesus...on His path of righteousness...on His path of emotional well-being...toward the brighter tomorrow that He has for us. (Ps. 23:3b, Jer. 29:11-14) He will bring to light that which is in darkness to lift us out of the miry clay, because he who promised is faithful and true. A bruised reed He will not break. His mercies are new every morning. His compassions, they fail not. And there is therefore no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus. (Rom. 8:1) We are more than conquerors through Christ and nothing can separate us from the love of God which is in Christ Jesus. God is love and there is no fear in love....for if God be for us, who can be against us. (These are all scriptures that I trust you are able to find...if not, please contact me.)
Let me share a personal experience with you from my piano studio....As a piano instructor, it is my responsibility to lovingly correct and disciple my students....There is a great vulnerability in playing piano...What will others think of me?...What does my teacher think about me?...What do I think about me?...I don't play as good as so and so....And one little girl sadly lamented about two years ago, "I'm not very good."....By the way, you should hear her now!
What do they really want? Loving acceptance...even when they need correction...They want to hear "Well done! Bravo!...just like we want to hear "Well done good and faithful servant", when we go Home. We want to know from our Heavenly Father, that no matter what, He loves us and we are special in His sight...and that He's there for us...even when we stumble and fall.....So, I decided to "take a break" from teaching so to speak...to just sit back and listen. I've asked my students to play their favorite piece of the week for me...and then I've said, "You know, I so enjoyed listening to you play this piece. Would you please play it for me once more...just so I can enjoy hearing you play it again...because you did such an outstanding job!"....Their faces beam with pride.
So come with me now, to the place where we hear Jesus speak lovingly and tenderly to our hearts with all compassion, mercy, long-suffering and gentleness of heart...."My precious little lamb, I've been looking for you...for you were lost for a little while in your wanderings. But know this for sure, I have not passed you by. I have wonderful things in store for you that you cannot see at this moment. I am calling you back to My heart...I know you've been deeply wounded. But I want you to know that everything you experience on this earth, I've felt and experienced, too. They pierced my head with thorns; they spit on Me; they ripped My beard off My face; they left Me in the Garden of Gethsemane alone to pray while they slept and I asked them to watch with me for only an hour. Was that too much to ask? They called me crazy and said I had a demon; My own fleshly family was ashamed of Me; they gave me a kiss and sent Me to My death...I understand. In this, I was wounded for your healing. I understand. My child, I love you with an everlasting love. I have never left you nor forsaken you; even in your darkest hour. I am by your side always; more than you realize. I promised to never leave you as an orphan, but to comfort you in your affliction and deliver you. Come to Me, My child, with your heart's heavy burden and I will give you rest for you soul." (Matt. 11:28-30)
In closing, may I pray with you as we come before Him together...."Oh Lord, I am so very sorry that I turned from You all this time during my pain and anguish. Forgive me, Lord, for how I ultimately blamed Your for my hurt. Forgive me for how I turned my back on You. Lord, by Your Blood, by faith, I forgive those who have hurt me, and I ask You to bless them, Lord. Help me, Lord. I can't get over this heart hurdle by myself, but You can get me there. I lay my heart at the foot of Your Cross for Your healing. I am willing to give You my bitterness and my pain. I ask You to reveal and heal those areas of my heart that await Your healing as only You can do. I look to You, Jesus, the Glory and Lifter of my head...My Redeemer...My Friend...the Lover of my soul. And Lord, I thank You that You will bring Your Glory to this situation. Amen."
~Back with Him....He will do the rest....
Tenderly and lovingly yours,
Crista
CMSimmons52@aol.com
http://dinnerwiththeking.blogspot.com/
Monday, March 1, 2010
Will You Go After the One?
The other morning as I sat with the Lord, He expressed His burden and His heart for the lost.O, that we may have ears to hear and hearts and feet and mouths that will be obedient to His bidding~
Will You Go After the One?
Luke 15:3-7 "So He spoke this parable to them, saying: What man of you, having a hundred sheep, if he loses one of them, does not leave the ninety-nine in the wilderness, and go after the one which is lost until he finds it? And when he has found it, he lays it on his shoulders, rejoicing. And when he comes home, he calls together his friends and neighbors, saying to them, Rejoice with me, for I have found my sheep which was lost! I say to you that likewise there will be more joy in heaven over one sinner who repents than over ninety-nine just persons who need no repentence."
Luke 15:3-7 "So He spoke this parable to them, saying: What man of you, having a hundred sheep, if he loses one of them, does not leave the ninety-nine in the wilderness, and go after the one which is lost until he finds it? And when he has found it, he lays it on his shoulders, rejoicing. And when he comes home, he calls together his friends and neighbors, saying to them, Rejoice with me, for I have found my sheep which was lost! I say to you that likewise there will be more joy in heaven over one sinner who repents than over ninety-nine just persons who need no repentence."
I tell you the truth, I gave you this parable so you would know My heart for that one little sheep who is lost. A sheep that is lost will lie down helplessly and refuse to budge. This is why I put it on My shoulders. I lift it up out of the miry pit. I lift it up out of briars which have it so ensnared. I lift it out of the realms of darkness.
Did I not say that whatsoever you do unto the least of these, those least esteemed by society, that you have done it unto Me? (Matthew 25:40)
Did I not say that pure and undefiled religion before God is visiting orphans and widows in their trouble and to keep oneself unspotted from the world? (James 1:27) Beloved, who are the orphans? Those without mother or father; those who do not know Me as Abba Daddy; those who've been cast out by society and even by My Church. For verily I say unto you that I, Myself, will receive those who have been forsaken by mother and father. (Psalms 27;10)
Beloved, if you are truly Mine, you will love as I have loved you and do love you now. For I love you with an everlasting love. (Jeremiah 31:3) Love the lost, Beloved. Love the lost. Seek them with My whole heart.
For while you were yet dead in sin, I loved you and died for you that you may live. Pursue the lost, Beloved. With My love, pursue the lost.
In the same manner in which you judge another shall it be measured back to you.
For I tell you the truth, freely have you received...freely give.
Beloved, love as I Am love, and in so doing you shall have boldness in the day of judgement. (1 John 4:17)
Crista Simmons (cmsimmons52@aol.com)
http://www.ourchurch.com/member/l/LifeCareMin/
http://dinnerwiththeking.blogspot.com
http://restingbesidestillwaters.com
http://www.openheaven.com
May be reprinted only in it's exactness. Freely have we received. Freely do we give.
For I tell you the truth, freely have you received...freely give.
Beloved, love as I Am love, and in so doing you shall have boldness in the day of judgement. (1 John 4:17)
Crista Simmons (cmsimmons52@aol.com)
http://www.ourchurch.com/member/l/LifeCareMin/
http://dinnerwiththeking.blogspot.com
http://restingbesidestillwaters.com
http://www.openheaven.com
May be reprinted only in it's exactness. Freely have we received. Freely do we give.
Sunday, September 27, 2009
Love Me Where You're At
I pray that out of God's abundant love, mercy and grace that you hear what He's speaking to encourage you today. This is right where I was at...almost a year ago....recovering from a detached retina....looking straight down for a very, very long month....
Remember, it is to Whom we look during these times of trial....Jesus Christ, the Author and Perfector of our faith. Be blessed by His message through Francis Frangipane.
~Crista
Love Me Where You're At
Francis Frangipane
September 21, 2009
eword@frangipane.org
I have discovered that, as we seek the Lord, our most difficult periods can be transformed into wonderful breakthroughs into God's love.
For me, one such season occurred during the years 1979 to1981. The association of churches with which I was aligned had fallen under spiritual deception. Not only were its core doctrines increasingly seeded with New Age influences, but immorality crept in, and key leaders began leaving their wives for other women. I could no longer remain silent. As a result, in 1979 I left my congregation in Detroit, Michigan, where I had served as pastor, and traveled to the organization's regional headquarters in Iowa. I came to plead for repentance. However, after meeting with the senior leaders, I was asked to leave the group.
So here we were - we had left our church, we had no money, and we had four little children and couldn't afford even basic housing. Desperate for anything, we finally found an old farmhouse in rural Washington, Iowa. The home was over a hundred years old, but it actually looked much older. After negotiating with the landlord, we were given a year of free rent provided I did basic repairs to the house, such as cleaning and painting.
Even so, the house needed more than I could provide. The furnace did not work well, so we installed a wood burner stove in the kitchen. That first winter, it turned out, was one of the coldest in Iowa's history. Frost formed on the inside walls, spreading a foot or two around each window; wind chills dropped to 60 below, and even colder, on several occasions.
To keep warm each night, the whole family cuddled tightly on one large mattress on the dining room floor, about 18 feet from the wood burner in the kitchen. A fan behind the stove nudged warm air in our direction. My nightly project, of course, was to build enough heat in the stove to keep us warm until morning.
While I worked the fire, I also would pray and seek God. The wood burner became a kind of altar to me, for each night as I prayed, I offered to God my unfulfilled dreams and the pain of my spiritual isolation. Yes, I knew the Lord was aware of our situation. Though we had virtually nothing, He showed Himself to us in dozens of little ways. I just didn't know what He wanted of me.
As the seasons came and went, another child was born, and then we fostered a young girl from Viet Nam, giving us six children. Still, as the family grew, the little area around the wood burner became a hallowed place to me. Even in the summer, I would sit on the chair next to the stove and pray and worship.
I would like to say I found the joy of the Lord during this time, but in truth, though I gradually adjusted to my situation, I felt an abiding misery in my soul. Our deep poverty was an issue (I barely made $6,000 a year), but more than that, I felt like I had missed the Lord. My continual prayer was "Lord, what do You want of me?"
Three years of seeking God passed, and I still carried an emptiness inside. What was God's will for me? I had started a couple Bible studies and spoke a few times in churches, but I so identified with being a pastor that, until I was engaged again in full-time ministry, I feared I had lost touch with God's call on my life.
In spite of this inner emptiness concerning ministry, I actually was growing spiritually, especially in areas that were previously untilled. I went through the gospels hungry to study and obey the words of Christ. Previously, I had unconsciously defined a successful ministry as something born of my performance. During this time, however, the Lord reduced me to simply being a disciple of Jesus Christ. Indeed, a number of things I thought were biblical I discovered were really just religious traditions. The Lord desired that I take inventory of my heart and examine those few truths for which I would be willing to die. He said the truths for which I would die, for these I should live.
Frankly, things like the timing of the rapture or nuances about worship style or spiritual gifts dropped in their priority, though I still considered them important. Rising to the top of my focus was a passion to be a true follower of Jesus Christ - to obey His teachings and approach life not merely as a critic, but more as an encourager. I also found myself increasingly free to enjoy and learn from Christians from other streams and perspectives.
Yet, these changes, though deep and lasting, occurred slowly, almost imperceptibly. They were happening quietly in my heart, and only in hindsight did I see what the Lord had done. Throughout this time, I was preoccupied with feelings of detachment from God's will. My prayer to know the Lord's plan for me continued daily.
The Breakthrough
One day, as I stood in the kitchen pantry, I repeated again my abiding prayer: "Lord, what do you want of me?" In a sudden flash of illumination, the Lord answered. Speaking directly to my heart, He said, "Love Me where you're at."
In this time and season, remember, I was not a pastor or minister. I was a television repairman doing odd jobs on the side to provide for my family. I hated what I was doing. In my previous church I taught against TV and now I was "laying hands" on television sets and raising them from the dead! The Lord's answer cut straight to my heart. I was awed at its simplicity! I asked, "Love You where I am at? Lord, is that all you want of me?" To this He responded, "This is all I will ever require of you."
In that eternal moment peace flooded my soul, and I was released from the false expectation of ministry-driven service. God was not looking at what I did for Him, but who I became to Him in love. The issue in His heart was not whether I pastored, but whether I loved Him. To love the Lord in whatever station I found myself - even as a television repairman - this I could do!
A deep and remarkable transformation occurred in me. My identity was no longer in being a pastor, but rather on becoming a true lover of God. Having settled my priorities, amazingly, just a couple days later I was invited to pastor a church in Marion, Iowa. In spite of all my previous anxiety about returning to ministry, I did not jump at the opportunity. For I had found what the Lord truly desired of me. Though I eventually accepted this call, my focus was not merely on leading a church, but loving God.
What God Seeks
More than one's ministry, God seeks our love. His great commandment is that we love Him, ultimately, with all our mind, all our heart, and all our soul and strength. If we love Him, we will fulfill all He requires of us (see John 14:15). And it is as we love Him that He orchestrates all things to work together for our good (see Rom. 8:28).
Beloved, loving God is not hard. We can fulfill any assignment - auto mechanic or housewife, doctor or college student - and still give great pleasure to our heavenly Father. We do not need ministry titles to love the Lord. Indeed, God measures the value of our lives by the depth of our love. This is what He requires of every true God seeker: to love Him where we are at.
Lord Jesus, the revelation of Your love has swept me off my feet. Lord, You have drawn me and I run after You. Master, even in the mundane things of life, I shall express my love for You. Consume me in Your love.
source: http://www.etpv.org/2009/lmwya.html
Remember, it is to Whom we look during these times of trial....Jesus Christ, the Author and Perfector of our faith. Be blessed by His message through Francis Frangipane.
~Crista
Love Me Where You're At
Francis Frangipane
September 21, 2009
eword@frangipane.org
I have discovered that, as we seek the Lord, our most difficult periods can be transformed into wonderful breakthroughs into God's love.
For me, one such season occurred during the years 1979 to1981. The association of churches with which I was aligned had fallen under spiritual deception. Not only were its core doctrines increasingly seeded with New Age influences, but immorality crept in, and key leaders began leaving their wives for other women. I could no longer remain silent. As a result, in 1979 I left my congregation in Detroit, Michigan, where I had served as pastor, and traveled to the organization's regional headquarters in Iowa. I came to plead for repentance. However, after meeting with the senior leaders, I was asked to leave the group.
So here we were - we had left our church, we had no money, and we had four little children and couldn't afford even basic housing. Desperate for anything, we finally found an old farmhouse in rural Washington, Iowa. The home was over a hundred years old, but it actually looked much older. After negotiating with the landlord, we were given a year of free rent provided I did basic repairs to the house, such as cleaning and painting.
Even so, the house needed more than I could provide. The furnace did not work well, so we installed a wood burner stove in the kitchen. That first winter, it turned out, was one of the coldest in Iowa's history. Frost formed on the inside walls, spreading a foot or two around each window; wind chills dropped to 60 below, and even colder, on several occasions.
To keep warm each night, the whole family cuddled tightly on one large mattress on the dining room floor, about 18 feet from the wood burner in the kitchen. A fan behind the stove nudged warm air in our direction. My nightly project, of course, was to build enough heat in the stove to keep us warm until morning.
While I worked the fire, I also would pray and seek God. The wood burner became a kind of altar to me, for each night as I prayed, I offered to God my unfulfilled dreams and the pain of my spiritual isolation. Yes, I knew the Lord was aware of our situation. Though we had virtually nothing, He showed Himself to us in dozens of little ways. I just didn't know what He wanted of me.
As the seasons came and went, another child was born, and then we fostered a young girl from Viet Nam, giving us six children. Still, as the family grew, the little area around the wood burner became a hallowed place to me. Even in the summer, I would sit on the chair next to the stove and pray and worship.
I would like to say I found the joy of the Lord during this time, but in truth, though I gradually adjusted to my situation, I felt an abiding misery in my soul. Our deep poverty was an issue (I barely made $6,000 a year), but more than that, I felt like I had missed the Lord. My continual prayer was "Lord, what do You want of me?"
Three years of seeking God passed, and I still carried an emptiness inside. What was God's will for me? I had started a couple Bible studies and spoke a few times in churches, but I so identified with being a pastor that, until I was engaged again in full-time ministry, I feared I had lost touch with God's call on my life.
In spite of this inner emptiness concerning ministry, I actually was growing spiritually, especially in areas that were previously untilled. I went through the gospels hungry to study and obey the words of Christ. Previously, I had unconsciously defined a successful ministry as something born of my performance. During this time, however, the Lord reduced me to simply being a disciple of Jesus Christ. Indeed, a number of things I thought were biblical I discovered were really just religious traditions. The Lord desired that I take inventory of my heart and examine those few truths for which I would be willing to die. He said the truths for which I would die, for these I should live.
Frankly, things like the timing of the rapture or nuances about worship style or spiritual gifts dropped in their priority, though I still considered them important. Rising to the top of my focus was a passion to be a true follower of Jesus Christ - to obey His teachings and approach life not merely as a critic, but more as an encourager. I also found myself increasingly free to enjoy and learn from Christians from other streams and perspectives.
Yet, these changes, though deep and lasting, occurred slowly, almost imperceptibly. They were happening quietly in my heart, and only in hindsight did I see what the Lord had done. Throughout this time, I was preoccupied with feelings of detachment from God's will. My prayer to know the Lord's plan for me continued daily.
The Breakthrough
One day, as I stood in the kitchen pantry, I repeated again my abiding prayer: "Lord, what do you want of me?" In a sudden flash of illumination, the Lord answered. Speaking directly to my heart, He said, "Love Me where you're at."
In this time and season, remember, I was not a pastor or minister. I was a television repairman doing odd jobs on the side to provide for my family. I hated what I was doing. In my previous church I taught against TV and now I was "laying hands" on television sets and raising them from the dead! The Lord's answer cut straight to my heart. I was awed at its simplicity! I asked, "Love You where I am at? Lord, is that all you want of me?" To this He responded, "This is all I will ever require of you."
In that eternal moment peace flooded my soul, and I was released from the false expectation of ministry-driven service. God was not looking at what I did for Him, but who I became to Him in love. The issue in His heart was not whether I pastored, but whether I loved Him. To love the Lord in whatever station I found myself - even as a television repairman - this I could do!
A deep and remarkable transformation occurred in me. My identity was no longer in being a pastor, but rather on becoming a true lover of God. Having settled my priorities, amazingly, just a couple days later I was invited to pastor a church in Marion, Iowa. In spite of all my previous anxiety about returning to ministry, I did not jump at the opportunity. For I had found what the Lord truly desired of me. Though I eventually accepted this call, my focus was not merely on leading a church, but loving God.
What God Seeks
More than one's ministry, God seeks our love. His great commandment is that we love Him, ultimately, with all our mind, all our heart, and all our soul and strength. If we love Him, we will fulfill all He requires of us (see John 14:15). And it is as we love Him that He orchestrates all things to work together for our good (see Rom. 8:28).
Beloved, loving God is not hard. We can fulfill any assignment - auto mechanic or housewife, doctor or college student - and still give great pleasure to our heavenly Father. We do not need ministry titles to love the Lord. Indeed, God measures the value of our lives by the depth of our love. This is what He requires of every true God seeker: to love Him where we are at.
Lord Jesus, the revelation of Your love has swept me off my feet. Lord, You have drawn me and I run after You. Master, even in the mundane things of life, I shall express my love for You. Consume me in Your love.
source: http://www.etpv.org/2009/lmwya.html
Tuesday, June 30, 2009
Up Close and Personal
~I was pondering today....about what the Lord did during our service at Life Care Center this past Sunday....how He revealed Himself to us...
~The Lord had led us to Romans 8:35 "Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall tribulation, or distress, or persecution, or famine, or nakedness, or peril, or sword?"...v. 38 "For I am persuaded that neither death nor life, nor angels nor principalities nor powers, nor things present nor things to come, v. 39 nor height nor depth, nor any other created thing, shall be able to separate us from the love of God which is in Christ Jesus our Lord."
~And then we went into our time of praise through song....We'd just finished singing, "Nothing Is Impossible....when you put your trust in God; Nothing is impossible, when you're trusting in His Word. Harken to the voice of God to thee; "Is there anything too hard for Me?" Then put your trust in God alone and rest upon His Word; for ev'rything, O ev'rything, yes ev'rything is possible with God" Eugene L. Clark
~When we finished, the spiritual atmosphere became very heavy with the weighty Presence of God...and still....and then the essence of what the Lord spoke was this:
~The Lord had led us to Romans 8:35 "Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall tribulation, or distress, or persecution, or famine, or nakedness, or peril, or sword?"...v. 38 "For I am persuaded that neither death nor life, nor angels nor principalities nor powers, nor things present nor things to come, v. 39 nor height nor depth, nor any other created thing, shall be able to separate us from the love of God which is in Christ Jesus our Lord."
~And then we went into our time of praise through song....We'd just finished singing, "Nothing Is Impossible....when you put your trust in God; Nothing is impossible, when you're trusting in His Word. Harken to the voice of God to thee; "Is there anything too hard for Me?" Then put your trust in God alone and rest upon His Word; for ev'rything, O ev'rything, yes ev'rything is possible with God" Eugene L. Clark
~When we finished, the spiritual atmosphere became very heavy with the weighty Presence of God...and still....and then the essence of what the Lord spoke was this:
"You sing this song, "Nothing Is Impossible", but do you believe it?
Do you believe it? Do you really BELIEVE this? You sing, but do you believe it?
I love you so much, and I walk these halls night and day.
I have never left you nor forsaken you.
O, how I love you! O how I love you!"
~And the atmosphere became even heavier....and I could not speak....God's awesomeness had moved from Heaven to earth in a little dining room in a nursing home at 320 Brigham St. in Plainwell, Michigan. God came to us, up close and personal.
~Oh, His peace and His sweet Presence....and the overwhelming sense of His closeness and awesomeness....I have no earthly words....There were no words, because HE IS THE WORD!
How does one define THE WORD in earthly terms?....I truly don't know....But I do believe, that
God wanted us - all of us - residents and volunteers alike...to KNOW the reality of His abiding love and Presence...and to believe in WHO HE IS - Personally - and what is His desire to do among us...The Impossible - bring physical healing into the nursing home on a scale that will be exceedingly, abundantly beyond what we could think or imagine!
~So, I was pondering today about how God manifested Himself during the service...and how He revealed Himself to the residents....but then I also knew....He revealed Himself to me, too....
I need Him so much! I want to know My Daddy up close and personal - just like all of us.....
~I don't have any great, big revelation of sort....only that God wants to come close to us...more than we realize....to reveal Himself to us...and to love on us as His children....His Bride....
~O, Come Lord Jesus come....Come Lord Jesus come....
Psalm 42:1-2a "As the deer pants for the water brooks, so pants my soul for You, O God.
My soul thirsts for God, for the living God."
Jeremiah 29:13-14a "And you will seek Me and find Me, when you search for Me with all your heart. I will be found by you, says the Lord...."
Jeremiah 33:3 "Call to Me, and I will answer you...."
Wednesday, April 15, 2009
Rest in My Goodness
~Let's look at a couple scriptures today:
~Ephesians 3:19 (Amplified) "[That you may really come] to know [practically, through experience for yourselves] the love of Christ, which far surpasses mere knowledge [without experience]...."
~Psalms 23:6 (Amplified) "Surely or only goodness, mercy, and unfailing love shall follow me all the days of my life..."
~"Goodness". Strong's Concordance #19 - "agathosune" - "Beneficence, kindness in actual manifestation, virtue equipped for action, a bountiful propensity both to will and to do what is good, intrinisic goodness producing a generosity and a Godlike state or being. Agathosune is a rare word that combines being good and doing good."
~Remember when Jesus was addressed as the good Teacher? And even Jesus replied that there is only One Who is good and that is God. (Matthew 19:16-17)
~So many scriptures that many of us can quote off the top of our heads; yet the Lord wants us to EXPERIENCE HIM IN THE REALITY OF WHO HE IS...and WHO HE IS - IS GOOD! Praise God that He wants to share Himself and Who He Is with us!
~It was two days ago...I was physically, emotionally, spiritually spent....To say that I've experienced exhaustion from this last year of physical challenges is an understatement. And the prospect of facing yet another surgery and all that entailed - personally, professionally, physically, financially, etc. - seemed more than I could face - again, in such a short period of time.
~It was Tuesday morning....and my Bible pages smeared like oil on water...my mind just didn't comprehend the pages I was reading...."God!", was the best prayer I could sigh.
~Then the Lord spoke, "Crista, just rest in My Goodness."....What did that involve?....Absolutely nothing but obedience on my part....sitting...not reading...not praying....just being....And then the Lord brought the 23rd Psalm to remembrance..."surely goodness and mercy shall follow me"......
~God's goodness....Who He is in His goodness....is with me all the way....not because of anything in particular, because I just haven't had it to "give"....but just because of Who He Is.
~Oh yes, I've sung the song...."God is so good...God is so good....God is so good, He's so good to me." But now, there is even more of an assurance of His Goodness in my heart...for me...just because of Who He Is....And He is all that and more for each and every one of us, because He is no respector of person.
~Beloved...when we've done all...stand...and rest in His goodness...and He will prove Himself strong and gentle on our behalf.
~And by the way...at this point...no back surgery! Yesterday, the doctor said my back didn't look as serious/involved on the MRI as it did one month prior on the CT scan. So for now...more conservative treatment. Praise God! Praise God! Praise God from Whom ALL blessings flow!
~We are loved by our Good God!
~Ephesians 3:19 (Amplified) "[That you may really come] to know [practically, through experience for yourselves] the love of Christ, which far surpasses mere knowledge [without experience]...."
~Psalms 23:6 (Amplified) "Surely or only goodness, mercy, and unfailing love shall follow me all the days of my life..."
~"Goodness". Strong's Concordance #19 - "agathosune" - "Beneficence, kindness in actual manifestation, virtue equipped for action, a bountiful propensity both to will and to do what is good, intrinisic goodness producing a generosity and a Godlike state or being. Agathosune is a rare word that combines being good and doing good."
~Remember when Jesus was addressed as the good Teacher? And even Jesus replied that there is only One Who is good and that is God. (Matthew 19:16-17)
~So many scriptures that many of us can quote off the top of our heads; yet the Lord wants us to EXPERIENCE HIM IN THE REALITY OF WHO HE IS...and WHO HE IS - IS GOOD! Praise God that He wants to share Himself and Who He Is with us!
~It was two days ago...I was physically, emotionally, spiritually spent....To say that I've experienced exhaustion from this last year of physical challenges is an understatement. And the prospect of facing yet another surgery and all that entailed - personally, professionally, physically, financially, etc. - seemed more than I could face - again, in such a short period of time.
~It was Tuesday morning....and my Bible pages smeared like oil on water...my mind just didn't comprehend the pages I was reading...."God!", was the best prayer I could sigh.
~Then the Lord spoke, "Crista, just rest in My Goodness."....What did that involve?....Absolutely nothing but obedience on my part....sitting...not reading...not praying....just being....And then the Lord brought the 23rd Psalm to remembrance..."surely goodness and mercy shall follow me"......
~God's goodness....Who He is in His goodness....is with me all the way....not because of anything in particular, because I just haven't had it to "give"....but just because of Who He Is.
~Oh yes, I've sung the song...."God is so good...God is so good....God is so good, He's so good to me." But now, there is even more of an assurance of His Goodness in my heart...for me...just because of Who He Is....And He is all that and more for each and every one of us, because He is no respector of person.
~Beloved...when we've done all...stand...and rest in His goodness...and He will prove Himself strong and gentle on our behalf.
~And by the way...at this point...no back surgery! Yesterday, the doctor said my back didn't look as serious/involved on the MRI as it did one month prior on the CT scan. So for now...more conservative treatment. Praise God! Praise God! Praise God from Whom ALL blessings flow!
~We are loved by our Good God!
Monday, March 30, 2009
Love, Daddy
~ I must admit there are times when past wounds gut punch me and I still bleed a bit...not as much as I used to...but still there staring me in the face and wanting to know what I'm going to do with them. ~For many of us, that can mean continuing to struggle with issues involving our parents - or other close family members. We find that we've done all we can in respecting them and not wounding back - as sometimes is the temptation, but the wound is still there. We get ourselves patched up, and then wham!...there we go again.
~For me, it involves my father. My adopted father has been my dad since I was four mos. old....If anyone is going to pick up the phone to call the other...it's me. For many years, he's signed his Christmas card with his first name...and this last year began using his army title of "Colonel"; not "Love, Dad"...but Colonel ______. I can rationalize in my head, but my heart just doesn't get it.
~Expressing my hurt to my husband the other day, I remarked, "Maybe I just need to call dad and ask him why...get things cleared up a bit." (But, I really don't think it would help....)
~Beloved, God knows our deepest wounds and how to fix them. He surprised me, when later that same day, He gently, tenderly and lovingly entered my thoughts....
"Crista, I always sign my cards, Love, Daddy."
So for all of us out there who need a reminder....just know that the card God sent you today is signed...."Love, Daddy".
~Some days, we really need God with skin on...don't we. We know in our heads, but our hearts are hurting. ~The following web site is really soothing when you just need a reminder that God is really there for you. Be blessed! ~And be sure to TURN UP THE VOLUME~ :>)
http://www.bittybitznpieces.com/FathersLoveLetter~.htm
Ephesians 3:19a "[That you may really come] to know [practically, through experience for yourselves] the love of Christ which far surpasses mere knowledge [without experience];...."
Saturday, February 28, 2009
Hopelessly in Love with You
Hopelessly in Love with You
Jan 22, 2005 2:20 am
Via Priscilla Van Sutphin
www.upstreamca.org
from Ruach Elohim…
Jan 22, 2005 2:20 am
Via Priscilla Van Sutphin
www.upstreamca.org
from Ruach Elohim…
“Every minute of the day, I am interceding for you. Every hour of the day My thoughts turn towards you. Every time even a sparrow falls to the ground, I know it and feel it. How much more than a sparrow are you worth to Me? There is NOTHING that escapes My eyes My beloveds. There is nothing you feel, that I don’t feel !
Yes, I said, I feel your pain. I feel your disappointments. I feel your loneliness. We are intimately connected through your spirit man. My Spirit lives in YOU. So I feel what YOU FEEL! That deposit gives you the ability to come in touch with MY POWER, when you feel left out, or left behind, or hurt, or abused and rejected. I know every tear you cry and they are collected in a bottle. Imagine for a moment that you are ME, and you felt all that! Imagine how My heart aches knowing the daily things you must bear for My sake ? Nothing escapes My view. I AM El Rohi – the God Who Sees.
I saw and heard Hagar’s cries in the desert when she ran away. I felt her loneliness and rejection…and I went to her to comfort and give her instructions and HOPE. I want you to be My prisoners of hope. I AM YOUR HOPE. So when you stop in that pain, and focus on ME, then you can be comforted by Me.
In that moment of anguish and pain, I AM YOUR HOPE. I AM YOUR COMFORTER. I AM El Rachum – The Compassionate One. I send the Comforter to all who weep and all who are in distress, when they belong to ME, or when they cry out to Me.
When David was in distress, he learned to cry out to ME, and I gave him strength through his praises to overcome the bear, the lion, the giant in the land. I will do the same for you. I am not partial. I don’t only do it for some. I answer the desperate pleas of the faithful.
Daniel cried out, but it took time for the archangel to get through to him, with all the battle over his area. But then he was blessed beyond his imagination. I am about to bring much comfort to My prisoners of hope, who have held on and held on through the trials and testings for the hope they have had for promises I’ve given them.
I am not a man that I should lie, nor a son of man that I should change My mind. There are some, as I’ve said, who have been deceived by their own hearts which have not been fully healed. There have been some things they thought would happen which have NOT happened, partly because it was their desire, but not the best I have for them. I am a Father Who wants to give the BEST for His children. I look for that special gift like you do for someone’s birthday to bless them with. I give gifts just because I love you, not because of your performance or the things you do.
I do reward diligent seeking. I do reward prayerfulness and communion. I do reward obedience. Some rewards come now, some come later, some come in eternity. But I see ahead all that is before you. I always do what is best for your CHARACTER development. Because if I gave you the gifts BEFORE your character was ready for them, you would be ruined by the gift. Just like when you indulge children too much, and they become spoiled and ungrateful. So I develop character through the things you go through, so that when you do get what I have for you, you will be faithful, and grateful.
I AM Wisdom. I AM understanding. So when you need these, you can call on Me, and I will give to you what you need to know….what is good for you. Some things need to be surprises. But soon, there will be such a communion, that so many things you thought you may never receive, will come to you in a moment. And your vision and perceptions of things will change. Your heart will be connected MORE fully to My heart as I come and destroy every stronghold that hinders you. I love you and cherish you as something sought after with great diligence and tenderness. YOU ARE MY OWN, MY LOVED ONES. I never will let you go or be unavailable. I am always here for you.
I always listen. I am ever seeking after you. So come, and learn more of ME, for I am in love with you My beloveds and I will increase that grace which helps you seek after ME, if you will ask for it ! I am ready to give you good things. So anticipate good things. Anticipate greater intimacy with ME, as you come in worship to ME ! The Bridegroom is knocking…unlatch the key of your hearts…”
Yes, I said, I feel your pain. I feel your disappointments. I feel your loneliness. We are intimately connected through your spirit man. My Spirit lives in YOU. So I feel what YOU FEEL! That deposit gives you the ability to come in touch with MY POWER, when you feel left out, or left behind, or hurt, or abused and rejected. I know every tear you cry and they are collected in a bottle. Imagine for a moment that you are ME, and you felt all that! Imagine how My heart aches knowing the daily things you must bear for My sake ? Nothing escapes My view. I AM El Rohi – the God Who Sees.
I saw and heard Hagar’s cries in the desert when she ran away. I felt her loneliness and rejection…and I went to her to comfort and give her instructions and HOPE. I want you to be My prisoners of hope. I AM YOUR HOPE. So when you stop in that pain, and focus on ME, then you can be comforted by Me.
In that moment of anguish and pain, I AM YOUR HOPE. I AM YOUR COMFORTER. I AM El Rachum – The Compassionate One. I send the Comforter to all who weep and all who are in distress, when they belong to ME, or when they cry out to Me.
When David was in distress, he learned to cry out to ME, and I gave him strength through his praises to overcome the bear, the lion, the giant in the land. I will do the same for you. I am not partial. I don’t only do it for some. I answer the desperate pleas of the faithful.
Daniel cried out, but it took time for the archangel to get through to him, with all the battle over his area. But then he was blessed beyond his imagination. I am about to bring much comfort to My prisoners of hope, who have held on and held on through the trials and testings for the hope they have had for promises I’ve given them.
I am not a man that I should lie, nor a son of man that I should change My mind. There are some, as I’ve said, who have been deceived by their own hearts which have not been fully healed. There have been some things they thought would happen which have NOT happened, partly because it was their desire, but not the best I have for them. I am a Father Who wants to give the BEST for His children. I look for that special gift like you do for someone’s birthday to bless them with. I give gifts just because I love you, not because of your performance or the things you do.
I do reward diligent seeking. I do reward prayerfulness and communion. I do reward obedience. Some rewards come now, some come later, some come in eternity. But I see ahead all that is before you. I always do what is best for your CHARACTER development. Because if I gave you the gifts BEFORE your character was ready for them, you would be ruined by the gift. Just like when you indulge children too much, and they become spoiled and ungrateful. So I develop character through the things you go through, so that when you do get what I have for you, you will be faithful, and grateful.
I AM Wisdom. I AM understanding. So when you need these, you can call on Me, and I will give to you what you need to know….what is good for you. Some things need to be surprises. But soon, there will be such a communion, that so many things you thought you may never receive, will come to you in a moment. And your vision and perceptions of things will change. Your heart will be connected MORE fully to My heart as I come and destroy every stronghold that hinders you. I love you and cherish you as something sought after with great diligence and tenderness. YOU ARE MY OWN, MY LOVED ONES. I never will let you go or be unavailable. I am always here for you.
I always listen. I am ever seeking after you. So come, and learn more of ME, for I am in love with you My beloveds and I will increase that grace which helps you seek after ME, if you will ask for it ! I am ready to give you good things. So anticipate good things. Anticipate greater intimacy with ME, as you come in worship to ME ! The Bridegroom is knocking…unlatch the key of your hearts…”
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