Tuesday, March 24, 2009

You Knit Me Together

~Have you ever wondered the whys and wherefores of your life? I have. ~Probably most of us have at one point or another.
~I just couldn't figure it out...my adoption....Why? I knew the circumstances behind my mother putting me in an orphanage, but in my heart of hearts, I just couldn't get a grasp on it.
~My blood father didn't own up that I was his. My birth mother gave me up for adoption. My adopted father has been emotionally absent most of my life and physically absent during his business years. My adopted mother had some severe issues - for which I was later able to forgive her - but it took time.
~I couldn't resolve having been given up for adoption. Was it like giving away a puppy?...Was my life a mistake - some quirk that took a wrong turn?
~I was sitting in my counselor's office, and she began to pray for the Lord to heal me. (I knew God was my Father, because Jesus was my Lord and Savior, but I just didn't have any answers....)...It was then that the Lord showed me a vision of myself as a fetus in my mother's womb...
"My dear Crista. I planned for you. I gave you your earthly parents so you would have certain physical characteristics and talents, but I planned for you. I AM your Father."
All those years I thought I had been a mistake....His reassurance reached into the recesses of my tortured heart...and He showed me a scripture I never knew existed...
Psalm 139:15 "My frame was not hidden from You, when I was made in secret, and skillfully wrought in the lowest parts of the earth. v. 16 Your eyes saw my substance, being yet unformed...."
~The photos were taken in 1970 when I was an exchange student in Germany for only 8 weeks ~ my birth mother and me. She was 60 and I was 17 1/2....In another post, I'll tell you how God became real to me that summer.

Blessings always,
Crista (CMSimmons52@aol.com)
Your comments are welcome and encouraged, however they are moderated before being posted. This blog entry may be shared as long as it is shared in it's entirety. Freely have I received...freely do I give. Crista Simmons http://dinnerwiththeking.blogspot.com/


  1. You look so much like your birth mom. Too often it's far easier for others to see our purpose and value than it is for us to get it. I look at you and your life and can see God's hands all over you from a mile away!

    Love you,

  2. This can't wait to hear your whole story. God has had your destiny in the palm of his hand all your life hasn't He? You are a bright light for others to be be encouraged by when they are alone, depressed and in pain. Love you, Crista. I am so glad we are friends!

  3. Dear Crista: Somewhat similar background...except that it was from the other end of your story. I was firstborn of four children and the scapegoat and my mother and father treated me like an enemy. The only peace came with becoming invisible to them and reading a book to transport me from their presence. I have "ducked it out with the Lord" many times asking why they didn't give me up for adoption. But to become acceptable to the Lord I have had to forgive them....they are now in Heaven as I've had many visions of them there.....I'm so relieved bc if they went to hell I would have wanted to dig them out. Forgiving them and quieting the rage inside me at them has taken many years and hard work. BUT, we MUST forgive everyone.Forgiveness is the Key. Overcoming this world and it's carnality is essential to salvation. Jesus demands that we forgive all. This past summer I finally forgave them from the depths of my heart. It was their rejection actually that made Christ real to me long ago. "When my mother and father reject me then the Lord will take me up." So true.

    1. You are so right in that forgiveness and healing are hard work...years and years, layer upon layer. But the Lord will take us to that place where we can truly forgive our parents in the depths of our heart.

      I pray the Lord's blessings upon you. He does restore to us the years the locust have eaten.

      I'm so sorry for all you had to endure as a child. Things like this smash our childhood, but with the Lord's love, He leads us in His healing where He does give beauty for the ashes. The scripture you quoted, Ps. 27:10, is one of my favorites.

      I pray now that He help you to minister to others with the same love you received from Him during your recovery.
      Love and blessings always,


Welcome ~

The purpose of this blog is to encourage our walk in Christ; together in Him; for as we develop our relationship with the Lord, we ARE more than conquerors through Christ Jesus! Praise God! My writings are mostly from an experiential standpoint; however sometimes this includes dreams and visions. (Comments are reviewed prior to posting.)